READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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