just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.