I wish I only lived at night.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..