But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
