Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
