Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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