i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
