I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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