Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
