you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
