So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
