Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
