I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
