Define "chronic" masturbator.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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