you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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