What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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