Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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