so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
