So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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