brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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