So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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