new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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