oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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