the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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