Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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