No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
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it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
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Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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