Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
