just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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