It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize