Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
