Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Someone signed my nipple.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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