how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
