Where did you get a picture of my penis
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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