i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
