At least make sure they are 18
Why
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
me + whiskey = a bad person
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
