you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
