i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Randomize
