Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
