The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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