I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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