i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
