i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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