Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
