How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
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