How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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