weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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