It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Green mimosas i think yes
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket