oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.