Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
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i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
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His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!