Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.