hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Did I show you my penis last night?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
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I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
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You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.