I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.