let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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