I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
