Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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