and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
