I wish I only lived at night.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
