come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
