You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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