I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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