I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
