Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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