we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
