I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
