Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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