Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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