I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
