i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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