Kiss
Puke
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize